After feeling d…

After feeling days with great blessings from God, last Wednesday I lost my temper.

Well, actually i wanted to take vacation from the ministry, but when my liturgist asked again, i cannot say no, as i remember that God has invited me to do it for this week for Him… 😦

With half power, I go to the church after from the office. And then, i remembered that for this practice, usually only need time until 8 p.m. so i don’t take any food to eat before. (also i don’t have many money to  buy more food).. I gotta get through it!!!

but then, the practice went so slow.. i feel so hungry, and my body just soooo tired 😦 i just wanna go home. i feel that everyone are so ego, and they don’t feel like what i felt that time. i just wanna go home..

At 8.30, the rain starts so big, and we cannot go home, so the practice continued until 9.00. I can’t stand it!!! just wanna go home, and when i see my friends’ faces are so happy bcoz they still wanna go practice… ooo it’s just killing me inside.

After that, thank God the rain starts slower and I can go home, sooo hungry, but i gotta go to buy some gasoline for my motorcycle. Thank God the traffic is good, and I come home at around 9.30.

On my way home, i just feel so angry inside. Why does people, who i thought are good people, they become so ego? or is it just my fault for not saying i wanna go home earlier… 😦

Thank God, when i arrived at home, there are plenty of food, i don’t care for what food do i eat, i just feel so hungry. In meantime, God has spoken to me, that : remember inside many things that’s not your plan, His plan is better. I still don;t know what’s the meaning for that day, but i still got plenty things to be grateful, includes: my family, my angels, friends, beloved people :), food to eat, clothes to wear, everything!! why should we angry for small things like that?

well, but at least it makes me to decide that i should take a vacation from this ministry. I do believe that God wants me to give the best, not because I’m forced to do, and with total heart, not half 😀

God will take care of you

A simple good song, share a little strength for today 🙂 be blessed my friends ^_^. Never be afraid for what will happen next, but leave your worries to Him, and He will be there always with us; God will provide, God will hug us.

(I took this text from http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh130.sht)

 

130. God Will Take Care of You

Text: Civilla D. Martin 
Music: W. Stillman Martin 
Tune: MARTIN, Meter: CM with Refrain

---

1.	Be not dismayed whate'er betide, 
	God will take care of you; 
	beneath his wings of love abide, 
	God will take care of you.

Refrain:
	God will take care of you, 
	through every day, o'er all the way; 
	he will take care of you, 
	God will take care of you.

2.	Through days of toil when heart doth fail, 
	God will take care of you; 
	when dangers fierce your path assail, 
	God will take care of you.
	(Refrain)

3.	All you may need he will provide, 
	God will take care of you; 
	nothing you ask will be denied, 
	God will take care of you.
	(Refrain)

4.	No matter what may be the test, 
	God will take care of you;
	lean, weary one, upon his breast, 
	God will take care of you.
	(Refrain)

Stayin’ alive

A week ago, i was sitting in the bathroom.. while my mind was going somewhere else, suddenly i see an ant inside the bathtub. The ant is small (black one), and it was trying to go to the end of the bathtub. 

I see his great struggle to stay alive, not get drowned. And suddenly like it was remind me that, we have to do our best for everything. Bible said on Proverbs 6:6-9 : “(6) Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider her ways and be wise!– (7) Which, having no chief, overseer, or ruler, (8) Provides her food in the summer and gathers her supplies in the harvest.”

I realize that God may teach us in any way that He want. The small ant was trying so hard until i find it not like swimming, but like walking on water. Yep, maybe we often sees this type of ant floating on water when they are grouping with their friends.

But for me, it’s something amazing when an ant could try this hard to be staying alive. God is so great that He created creatures with their own capability. And now, it reflects to me, what have i done this much to do my job in this world? Many times i feel like i’m unworthy, or maybe because of my boyfriend is a good Catholic, so i feel so desperate? i’m not the savior – it’s You the Savior! i’m sorry God, we have forgotten You…

Many times, we blame ourselves for being what we are right now, but like the ant, he is not blaming himself for what he is now (drowning in the big bathtub, that maybe he could be dead in few minutes), but he try the best to stay alive and get to the corner – which maybe in his mind it is the land!

Try to believe that whatever happens now in our life is still in God’s plan. He will never leaves us, not for a second. Why should we afraid or worry about it? In many ways He will show that He loves us, He will take care for us, our family, our beloved ones, and just let it go, give your big burden to Him.

Oh yeah, I forgot, ~ about the ant, finally he almost get into the corner, and I take it with my small bucket to the dry floor. Hope he is okay, coz when i finished my bath, the ant is not there anymore. :p

God, thank You for Your love to us. Please, lead us, take care of our family, lead our lovely ones, especially for them who haven’t believe in You, Never let them go away, God. 

Thank you so much for this great lesson 🙂

Stayin alive! Stayin lots with trust in You!

 #The small ant walking on the water 

 

#Yup, almost near the edge 🙂